Final 136

Long-distance relationships are meaningful and productive. We all have our differing opinions on them, but there are two main views: long-distance relationships are pointless and long-distance relationships are a blessing in disguise. From the way I see it, most people would say they wouldn't want to be in one, but once they are exposed to that situation, their opinions usually change--at least a little bit. The main concern about being in a long-distance relationship is, of course, the distance. What's the point of being in a relationship with someone you hardly see? Well to that I would say, your soul mate isn't always around the corner. There are people who grow up on opposite sides of the country, or on opposite ends of the world, and whether it's because of a career or simply by chance that they meet, you can't help but say, "Where have you been all my life?"

No one that I know would consciously decide that they wanted to be in a long-distance relationship. It's easier if their significant other lives close to home because you can see them whenever you want, you can decide if you have a connection with them much quicker than someone that lives hundreds or thousands of miles away, and it's easier to build on your relationship. But like any relationships, these ones come out of the blue. For example, my cousin, Justin, went on an online dating site as a joke one day. He came across this one girl named Kim. Kim lived in England while Justin lived in the United States--3883 miles apart. They got to know each other and decided a long-distance relationship was worth it. They Skyped all the time and Kim came here for two months to live with them in the summer and Justin went to live with her family during Christmas. They made it work for a couple years until Justin decided he wanted to marry her. A month ago, Kim moved to the United States officially and married Justin so they could be together. They are extremely happy together and I admire their ability to face this difficult situation in stride. Before Justin met Kim, I saw him as a guy that would joke around all the time, he didn't seem interested in a relationship at all, and he wasn't exactly the most mature person I knew. But after he realized he really liked this girl, I saw him change immediately. He became a guy that didn't joke around as much at family functions, he began talking to me about deeper subjects, and he became one of the most mature guys I have ever known.  Many people aren't strong enough for distance and it doesn't work out. In this case, it did. This relationship meant so much to him, he used to be a guy where being lazy and not having to put much effort into his life was all he knew and at one point he quit his job without any backup plan because he wasn't happy with it anymore. Now that he has Kim in his life, he graduated college, got a full-time job with decent pay, and he began saving up to buy a house with her.

Being away from each other for long periods of time let them see how much they really cared about each other and how much they longed to be together. In a way it actually pushed them to realize early on that they should get married. Many couples that see each other regularly tend to take the relationship for granted. They don't appreciate every minute they get to spend with each other. But since they see each other so often, they might not think about marriage for a couple years--if at all. I'm not saying long-distance relationships are more likely to succeed than close-distance relationships--they have nearly equal results. According to five studies on relationships, thirty percent of geographically close relationships versus twenty-seven percent of long-distance relationships ended within six months while twenty-five percent of geographically close relationships versus eight percent of long-distance relationships ended within one year. Being away from each other gives them a chance to actually miss their significant other and forces them to be patient until the next opportunity they get to see each other. The time couples actually spent with one another in person compared to the time they had to spend apart is a huge factor in the length of the long-distance relationship versus the geographically close relationship.

My situation is completely different than theirs was. I'm currently dating a United States Marine. He is currently stationed in Okinawa, Japan--7187 miles away from my hometown. I met him while I took a job with my boss's second company for a festival they needed a couple extra people for. I worked for Santa's Village Azoosment Park while he worked for the sister company, A Zoo to You (a traveling petting zoo, pony ride, exotic animal show). I met him while setting up the petting zoo and pony ride for the Johnny Appleseed Festival we were working that day and he told our manager that he wanted to work with me in the petting zoo before he even officially met me. About a month later we started dating. This situation was kind of ironic considering I always thought it would be nice to meet a guy at my job, working with animals and having the same amount of love for them as I have. He told me his dream was to be in the Marine core and he was planning on enlisting. I knew what that meant: distance and lack of communication. Unless I really liked this guy, it probably wasn't going to work out. The relationship ended, probably for the better, and we lived our lives while still keeping in touch. While I was moving on with my life, he was simultaneously trying to get over me (and failing miserably) while trying desperately to get me back. A couple years down the road, we decided we wanted to be together again. He was in Japan, I was back home, and we had to deal with distance but we didn't care. It didn't take long before we realized we didn't want anyone else, or should I say before I realized I didn't want anyone else--he knew that a long time ago. Now we're engaged and we still spend every day dealing with the distance in the best way possible. It's really difficult because I haven't seen him in three years. We message each other, we use SnapChat, we Skype at the most random hours of the day/night. What makes it the most difficult is the time difference. Depending on Daylight Savings Time, there's a fourteen or fifteen hour difference. If it's one-thirty in the afternoon here, it's three-thirty or four-thirty in the morning over there. Sometimes I'll wake up at three or four in the morning and Skype him as he's just getting off work, but their work hours are random and crazy at times. It's easier knowing he'll be back in the states in five months, but we're still getting through the obstacles of a long-distance relationship every day.

Being in a relationship with someone in the military is much different than being in a relationship with someone at home or someone that lives in another country. For one thing, we have a general idea of when we’ll see each other again since the military get thirty days of leave per year. Plus, they are technically making money at all hours of the day and night because they are on call 24/7. Someone that lives in another country would have to save up money from possibly a minimum wage job to spend thousands of dollars on a plane ticket to go see their significant other. It takes a lot more planning on both ends. My cousin and his wife used to plan for a trip months in advance to visit the other one and it had to fit in their schedule with work and school on both ends. With my situation, my fiancé will take leave and come back home when he wants to--or when he can--as long as his request is accepted. He’ll be spending time at his own home and I will have to make time to see him around my schedule. Anyone else would have to be a host and allow their significant other to live in their home for the visitation time. Being with each other in person is one thing. Communicating with them while they’re away is different.

There are ways where long-distance isn't as much of a problem as it used to be one hundred years ago. Back then the only way to communicate was to write letters to each other and hope you were able to meet up at some point soon. Then telephones came in to play and you could actually hear their voice--which could make a big impact. Now, we have cell phone or computer apps such as Skype--an app that allows the users to see each other no matter where they are by providing a video connection with sound. Researchers state that, "...technology has been a major driver in the proliferation of long distance relationships." It's not exactly being right next to the person on the other end, but in my opinion it is the best form of communication for long-distance that we have to-date.

Honestly, while long-distance relationships aren't as glamorous as geographically close relationships, they aren't as terrible as they might seem. They have a reputation for being misunderstood by friends and family--who think there is no point to them--however, they are the same as any other relationship. The only difference is lack of physical contact. Long-distance relationships still have communication (if they live on another continent, there is more to talk about due to difference in culture and lifestyle), you can form emotional connections, and you can meet their friends and family--among other things. There is good news behind this, though. A new study suggests, "...absence might truly make the heart grow fonder and that couples who live apart have more meaningful interactions than those who see each other daily." Even so, you can't have a long-distance relationship without some sacrifices.

Depending on the type of long-distance relationship, one of you will have to make many sacrifices. Since I'm dating a person in the military, he'll be returning home shortly and he was born and raised forty-five minutes from my hometown. There isn't a lot holding me to my hometown besides my two jobs since my friends and family are either away at college, working, or distracted by family issues. I will be moving to California with him after we get married and it doesn't bother me. For people in a situation more similar to my cousin's, Kim decided she would move away from everything she knew--her culture, her family she lived with for nineteen years, her pets, her lifestyle, her friends--she would leave England and live in America. Prior to their marriage, she had visited America for two months. That's not a lot of time to learn the culture and language differences and she won't be able to acquire a job anytime soon. But that's a sacrifice she made because Justin means everything to her.

There will always be differing opinions with long-distance relationships versus geographically close relationships. But the only way your opinion can count is if you've been in one. There are many different long-distance situations--a couple could be separated by multiple bodies of water, a whole country, a state, or a couple hundred miles. But all these different situations have one thing in common: two people have an emotional connection very different than they have experienced with anyone else. As long as the couples are willing to work on the difficulties together, the relationship can't fail. It's easier to deal with one obstacle at a time until they eventually get to the biggest one--the distance.

Review - Nurse Jackie

Being addicted to drugs is never easy. Season 6 of Nurse Jackie displays just how far an addict is willing to go for relief and the consequences that ensue. Nurse Jackie is labeled as a dramatic comedy (or dramedy) television show and is about a nurse suffering with a drug addiction. Jackie goes through life flawlessly covering up her addiction to all that are close to her: coworkers, bosses, family, and friends. In Season 6, however, her life begins to fall apart slowly until everything she's worked so hard to cover up blows up around her, leaving a path of destruction behind her every step.

Ever since day one, Jackie Peyton has been a drug abuser and did nearly anything to get her drugs--including having an affair with the ER pharmacist. Jackie has maintained her manipulative ways to acquire exactly what she wants in this season. That doesn’t eliminate her ability to cozy up to someone who can supply her with her addictions until she throws them away with the same mindset as tossing away a used tissue. Because of the way she falsely molded herself, her “perfect” life began to slowly unravel into the horror that was the reality of the effects of drug use. After flawlessly distancing herself from anyone that began to catch on to her wrong doings, Jackie’s illegal activities finally caught up to her, despite avoiding trouble with her police officer boyfriend, and she had to face the consequences. On top of her drug abuse, she is a good liar and that confidence causes her to lie more times than she tells the truth. Although I don’t see how her lying will be able to get her out of trouble now.

Even though Jackie knew her addiction was causing friction in all of her relationships, she continued to use without accepting any help to change her habits. When her friend, Antoinette, from her substance abuse meetings, got in the way of her plans with persistence to change Jackie's fate, Jackie took Antoinette to a rehab center and signed her in with no intention of admitting herself for the sole purpose of getting a roadblock (Antoinette) out from between Jackie and her addiction.

Newsday's top critic, Verne Gay, agrees that Season 6 of Nurse Jackie was a great example of how addictions are finally going to catch up with them in a negative way, "'Nurse Jackie' is like an airplane in slow descent--approaching the airport and now, in a circling pattern. 'Descent' and 'circle' are the operative words here because it is patently clear that Jackie Peyton is not, will not, and could not be in a good place this season. That's your descent. Here's your 'circle': We've been here before. The relapse, lies, self-destruction, and the demolition of personal relationships." But another critic, Matt Roush, with TV Guide, suggests it's actually a negative way to present the season, "Watching Jackie go back on the drugs, lying to her support group as well as her current better-than-she-deserves cop boyfriend Frank, you can't help but get a dispiriting feeling of been there, snorted that." Although I agree with him that it is a little repetitive, I have to say that’s part of the charm of Nurse Jackie. The producers and screenwriters focus on the real-life struggles of a drug addict. If they suddenly changed the script and caused Jackie to be a role-model mother, officially sober, it would sugar-coat the season too much and cause a massive dent in the amount of loyal viewers.  Yes, we’ve been here, yes, we’ve done that, but Jackie is getting craftier and it’s difficult to predict what she’s going to do next. Not to mention, there are viewers that see Jackie as a role model, or a mirror to what their life is, and to not show the consequences of a life like Jackie’s would cause viewers to take away the wrong message this show is trying to give.

As someone who is familiar with the effects of a drug on a consistent user, I know making positive changes in life is not easy for them. My ex-boyfriend went to rehab three times, as well as jail, in an attempt for society to make him better, but if they have their mind set on continuing to use, their life will continue to spiral downward until they decide to make that change once and for all. I can’t count the amount of times I attempted to persuade him to change his lifestyle, but if drug users don’t see anything wrong with their habits, no matter how many times they are thrown in rehab or jail, even though they know it can get them in trouble, they aren’t going to stop unless something dramatic happens or they are determined to change their ways. Top critic for the Boston Globe, Matthew Gilbert, completely agrees that this show is a perfect example of that struggle, "...Jackie Peyton keeps making the same mistakes, taking apart her life piece by precious piece. But the repetitions are a critical part of its greatness. 'Nurse Jackie' has grown into one of TV's most uncompromising series, a portrait of addiction that refuses, and then refuses all over again, to soften the truth or give viewers a comforting way out. The show insists that we see Jackie, New York ER nurse extraordinaire, for what she truly is: an addict, a person with a disease, a woman who loves and needs her pills and powders more than she loves anyone, including herself. The 'Nurse Jackie' writers don't just have Jackie hit bottom and recover, the kind of arc that ultimately turns so many television portrayals of drug abuse--including on 'reality' TV--into heartwarming tales of healing. They just keep making her bottom lower and lower, a seemingly bottomless pit of despair and self-harm. Most people whose lives have been touched by addiction or an addict know the honesty of that kind of unromanticized and unrelenting narrative. Yes, her slips provide purpose to the show, but, more important, they serve the authenticity."

This season shows Jackie going further than ever to cover up any traces that she needs help. Everything is on the line, her job, her friendships, her relationships with her daughters and ex-husband. The end of the season finds Jackie having to finally face reality with the choices she has made.

Virunga Review

Virunga is an eye-opening documentary about what was happening in the Congolese jungles. There are soldiers willing to risk their lives to protect the wildlife in the park and their precious mountain gorillas that helps bring in funding for the park from the tourism it attracts. But there are also greedy people that are trying to find oil in the country and will do almost anything to get it. While the soldiers are trying to protect the wildlife, there are rebel militias attempting to take over. This documentary shows the struggles that happen all the time on the other side of the world. It shows how even though there may be goodness in some people, there is also evil ready to test the loyalty of any who stand in their way.

Argumentative Paper

This modern-day materialist society has gotten so repulsive it's driving more and more people to live off-the-grid. Every year, campers, hikers, nature enthusiasts, and the like escape to an outdoor paradise where they can take a break from the everyday struggles and renew themselves. Though these people spend time in nature as a hobby, others take it to the extreme and make it their lifestyle. Whether it's regarding money, spirituality, or stress, there are people that permanently relocate to a secluded home off-the-grid. According to environmental journalist Bryan Nelson, "Sometimes, the weight of civilization can be overwhelming. The fast pace...the burdens of relationships...the political strife...the technological complexity--it's enough to make your dream of escaping to a simpler life more in touch with nature." Among these extremists, a life of seclusion is something I occasionally desire due to the fact I am the happiest and most peaceful when I am in nature.

On the surface, civilization might seem like a more comfortable option compared to off-the-grid living, but with either of those options, there are sacrifices to make. One thing about this society that drives people away is privacy issues. In Fredrick S. Lane's book, American Privacy: The 400-Year History of Our Most Contested Right, he explains, "Most Americans were appalled by the revelation that the Bush administration had been listening to the domestic conversations of U.S. citizens for more than four years without court supervision." For over 200 years, America has been considered a 'free' nation. That freedom is slowly disappearing. With living in the wilderness, a lot more is sacrificed. There aren't any grocery stores down the block, hospitals, heating and cooling systems in the house (if there is a house), and unless one of the people you’re with (or yourself) is a doctor, you might have to travel for an hour or more just to reach one. But the biggest sacrifice is having to hunt and gather food for survival rather than having a farm or other people behind-the-scenes putting food on the table. Despite all this, the reward is peaceful living and less stressful worries.

Unless one is accustomed to living in the wild their whole lives, the switch to a more natural form of living would take a little time to get accustomed to. An example of a family that's used to living in the wilderness their whole lives is the Alaskan Bush Family. The family consists of nine people: father, Billy, mother, Ami, four boys, and two girls. The children range in ages from 32 to 12 years old. Each member of the family brings a different talent and strength to the group, but together, they accomplish a lot--which makes them successful in their way of living. Out of the many decades of living in the wild, the family spent one year in an apartment in Ketchikan, Alaska after the boat they had been living on with all their belongings sunk. One year was about all they could handle before they went crazy from not being out in nature.

A more famous person that took on the task of living more simply is Christopher McCandless, the American that ventured into the wilderness of Alaska in 1992 and is famous from Jon Krakauer's non-fiction book about McCandless's life, Into the Wild. Bryan Nelson also reveals McCandless's reasoning for leaving, "Though he was well-educated, his upper-middle class background and academic success only fueled his contempt for what he saw as the empty materialism of society." Nelson explains that McCandless believed that the things that mattered most in the society he left behind were the physical possessions that could easily be replaced or thrown away. I would have to agree that society is still materialistic. People are so focused on having the newest iPhones, the nicest cars, or the coolest gadgets not because they need them, but because they want them. So many people go shopping for clothes so they can fill their closets and drawers with the newest and “cutest” shirts and jeans to the point of overflowing dressers and closets. A good example is women and shoes: they can have a whole closet filled with shoes and they would still want more because they don’t have a pair that will perfectly match the outfit they want to wear. According to Haley Phelan, 226 million people went shopping during the 2011 Black Friday alone. The annual craze is so popular because everyone goes out to purchase products or toys we don’t need, but we still get because they’re on sale and we want them. Plus, we live in a society where there is a television show that is solely focused on people that are hoarders. If that doesn’t say how materialistic we’ve become, I don’t know what will. With all the focus of this society being on what will entertain us for a few hours, we have lost touch with ourselves. There are so many people in therapy and suffering with depression because they don’t know how to be happy. When we’re burying our faces in technology, we forget to focus on maintaining ourselves.

Though I have previously mentioned the reasons why people tend to leave society as being a way to escape, there is another, very different, reason why some people choose to live in the wilderness. There are a few people in this world that have a very strong love and respect for certain animals. One of them being Timothy Treadwell, the man who lived among grizzlies. For thirteen summers, Timothy spent his time in Alaska among the brown bears. He studied them and recorded every moment he spent with them while living in a tent among the bear trails. He had such a deep appreciation for the grizzlies, he felt they were his friends. According to “Bearman” Kevin Sanders, “Almost from the start, National Park Service officials worried about Tim’s behavior…A total of 6 park violations or complaints from 1994 to 2003, including guiding tourists without a license, camping in the same area longer than the 5 day limit, improper food storage, wildlife harassment, use of a portable generator, and misc. altercations with visitors and licensed guides. Treadwell also frustrated park rangers because he refused to carry bear spray.” His love for the bears was deep, but his carelessness about safety precautions and cockiness about his friendship with the grizzlies led to his demise. Unfortunately, there was no happy ending for him, but there is another man with a happier ending. Shaun Ellis is known for his documentary, A Man Among Wolves, showing how he was able to interact with wolves on a deeper level. One of his books, The Man Who Lives With Wolves, explains how he first came into contact with wolves and how he spent two years of his life completely isolated from civilization, living among the wild wolves. He dedicated those two years of solitude with the wolves in hopes of returning to civilization with a better understanding of their nature. Ellis described his experiences with the wolves, “I moved to the wild…I stayed with the same pack for over a year, watching pups grow to adulthood. I never missed human contact during that time. I felt a tremendous sense of belonging with the wolves.” The wolves he called a family took care of him. They brought food to him when he was weak, they trusted him to take care of their pups, and they protected him from predators.

As someone that has taken advantage of off-the-grid living, Eric Outram explains the reasoning behind it, "People who decide to live off-grid are often looking for a way to live in harmony with and lessen their impact on the environment. They enjoy a physical challenge, and/or appreciate some solitude." Outram uses the farming technique in which he grows food and raises animals for meat. Others like Shaun Ellis and the Alaskan Bush Family hunt and gather food for survival. Shaun Ellis set traps when he was waiting to make contact with the wolves, but as soon as he was accepted into the wolf pack, they began to bring meat to him. He tried to stick to a carnivore diet because eating all meat makes you smell like a predator, not prey, with the occasional fruit and berries. The Alaskan Bush Family hunts with rifles and they fish with fishing rods as well as catch salmon with their bare hands. Occasionally, they’ll take a dingy out into more open waters and put out a crab trap for special meals.

Living off-the-grid seems like a crazy idea to some people, but not having to worry about the common causes of stress such as taxes, mortgages, monetary struggles (bartering is very common in Alaska), materialism, and lack of spirituality, among others, is a much better option than the others. I, personally, can see why this society could be holding us back from being truly happy. So living in a forest, surrounded by a readily available food supply, and accompanied by experienced bush people, there would be a lot more time to enjoy life in its purest form.

Quote Post

Going off the grid: Why more people are choosing to live life unplugged
by John Platt

For some, modern-day society is too much to handle. So what do they do about it?

John Platt, a freelance journalist, suggests the reasoning behind the unplugged life, "Some off-grid people do it to get away."

Platt suggests there is an underlying reason behind people trying to escape society.

Platt is correct in his suggestion due to the fact I can relate to his message. It might seem like an obvious statement, but it hits home.

Article Argument

How Did College Education Become So Ridiculously Expensive?
by Bill Zimmerman

Society's demand for college education comes with an almost impossible price. As the demand for college education rose, so did the cost.

Bill Zimmerman, the author of the book The Student Loan Swindle: Why It Happened -- Who's to Blame -- How the Victims Can Be Saved, explains the situation, "As the purchasing power of working and middle class families declined, college was seen as ever more necessary in the desperate struggle for financial success. But rapidly rising tuition made college less and less affordable. Trapped between their perceived need for an education and their lack of resources with which to pay for it, many families had no choice but to seek larger and larger student loans."

Zimmerman discusses the difficulties families are faced with the worth of the US dollar changing rapidly. Because of that obstacle, the cost of everything changes as well.

Zimmerman captures the terrifying nature of the recent boost of tuition costs and explains the need for it thoroughly.

Article Summary #2

How Did College Become So Ridiculously Expensive?
by Bill Zimmerman
(excerpt from his book The Student Loan Swindle: Why It Happened - Who's to Blame - How the Victims Can Be Saved)

Before the 1990s, student debt was practically non-existent. College was affordable to the working class without having any leftover funds due. According to Zimmerman, "...the University of Chicago, one of the most expensive institutions in the country. Tuition was $870 per year when I enrolled in 1958 (just under $7,000 in 2013 dollars)." To help with the cost of tuition, student were able to get part-time jobs and that, alone, funded their living expenses as well. The rising demand of students within a 20-year span caused an increase in university sizes. Because of that, the states no longer wanted to help pay for the cost of the universities, so students had to take on most of the costs, which were added to the tuition.